The Tension of Art, Creativity, and motives

“The essence of art is self-expression, but the essence of Christianity is self-denial. Balancing the two is very hard.” (A.W. Tozer, supposedly)

I have always felt a great tension with the songs that I write and record. What do I do next? To some people, the obvious answer is, “Share it!” And in general, that’s the direction I go. But the tension comes in how I should share it. If there’s anything I’ve learned in the scriptures, it’s that God is intensely interested in the motives of the heart. He’s more interested in purity than in publicity. I record songs for the express purpose of impacting other people. (If others won’t listen, why go through all that work and often thousands of dollars of expense? If it were for myself, I can just pick up my guitar and sing it by myself at home!) So obviously, sharing it with others is the major reason why I record and release songs.

But at the start, before all that, I am writing the songs for the Lord. Worship is unto the Lord. It is holy to Him—separate for Him. The writing of a song is the first part. What happens after that is a second, distinct part—the part where I might play it at a Bible study, lead it at my church, or go on to release it to a broader audience of strangers online.

In the sharing process, I find it is easy to forget the Lord and make it all about people. The same song that I wrote out of love for God can become a tool for another purpose. I think it’s easy to make it all about the people because deep down inside, I really want people to love me. Artists want their art to be celebrated, raved over, and praised for its uniqueness and beauty. I think the reason for it is that if they love my art, it feels like they love me. This isn’t all bad. But it can become altogether wrong and sinful when we take something that was made to inspire love for God and then twist it to acquire love for ourselves. (A common Christian tradition holds to the idea that this is what Lucifer himself did and why he fell from Heaven—attempting to usurp glory for himself that belonged to God alone.)

Still, on the other hand, I don’t believe that God is oversensitive and offended because He has an ego problem. I believe that He is jealous for our love, but confident of His own glory. As a father, I am not threatened when my children do something creatively amazing and others think they are wonderful. No! Instead, I feel great satisfaction, knowing that my children are an extension of me. For a scriptural example, God brought about a mighty deliverance for Israel when the people went to war shouting: “a sword for the Lord and for Gideon!” (Judges 7:20). God wasn’t offended with David when the women of Israel sang about him in the streets: “David has slain his tens of thousands!” (1 Samuel 18:7). I don’t think God is threatened by His children being amazing, because it is merely a demonstration that they are born in His awesome image. We are called, in Ephesians, to “be imitators of God as dearly loved children” (Ephesians 5:1). God creates, God does great works, God astounds, God does wonders—and I believe His children are to do the same.

And yet, God knows what pride does to destroy us. And He is a jealous God, jealous for what is rightfully His. He doesn’t need us, nor does He need anything. But He knows we need Him, and He knows that if we make an idol out of anything else, we will bring about our own destruction.

For artists, we can be so quick to pursue the three G’s instead of God: the gold, the glory, and the guys/girls. (My Montana hunting friends remind me to include a fourth G, which is “the guns.”) I’m no different. I constantly wrestle with the tension of wanting to share songs that will inspire love for God in people, but there are parts of me that want my sharing of the song to result in me getting a little something from it too. That’s not all bad either. After all, before David fought Goliath, he made sure to ask, “What will be done for the man who fights this Philistine?” He was told that he’d receive the king’s daughter in marriage, relief from taxes, and other material treasures in return. But it comes a problem when the motive of my heart becomes to seek those things more than and instead of my God. He is able to provide me with all of those things when I seek Him first, and I don’t have to chase it like the pagan world does.

There are many songs that have powerfully impacted me and drawn my heart to love God more. Some songs have literally changed the course of my life by giving me the confidence and conviction to make certain decisions to follow Jesus. Some songs have brought immense joy and comfort. Every one of those songs came into my awareness because somebody shared it. The artist wrote the song down, played it publicly, recorded it, and shared it (on a cassette tape, a CD, a YouTube video, or single on Spotify…). And then someone told me about it! I am so grateful that all this happened! Where would my life be without certain songs? What if it never had been shared by the artist? What if no one ever told me about it? All of those songs had some sort of marketing behind them, which resulted in me hearing the songs. So I am grateful for the marketing that made someone’s secret song the anthem of my life here where I live. I am so glad that those songwriters didn’t hide their light under a bushel (Matthew 5:15).

But I don’t love most marketing of worship music. We’ve all seen a bad advertisement, usually in the form of a locally made commercial for something in our hometown. They make us cringe. I can say without a doubt that the most cringe-worthy marketing I have ever seen has come from Christian musicians. It is either gimmicky and poorly done, or it is over-the-top attention-seeking that is hard to distinguish from worldly celebrities and icons of culture. Still other times, they take themselves too seriously and opt for a hyper-spiritualistic, overly religious, and pharisaical nature. So often, it is disgustingly obvious that the artists are using the name of God and pretend spirituality to chase everything the world chases—the gold, the glory, and the girls/guys thing again. I hate it. I absolutely hate it! And I want nothing to do with it. I don’t want to touch that kind of marketing with a ten-foot pole.

So whenever I write a record or a song, I wrestle so hard to find a balance between those two. I do indeed want people to be impacted and blessed by my songs, and I simultaneously want to avoid the “cringe“ marketing tactics that are so prevalent. Sadly, I often find myself falling into one or the other. Sometimes I keep songs hidden for fear of engaging in cringe-worthy tactics, afraid to be operating with false motives. Other times, I try my hand at marketing efforts so the songs get out there, for fear of hiding my light under a bushel when I’m supposed to be a city on a hill! Most of the time, I’m afraid that people will THINK that I’m doing one of the other. The fear of man is just a terrible thing that doesn’t help any of us.

So I wrestle with the tension of what to do next. How do I share a song? And while the tension is difficult, I think operating in that tension is a form of worship itself. It keeps in mind both of the greatest commandments: to love God and to love people. The tension displays fear of the Lord, that love for God must remain first.

There are so many decisions to be made AFTER a song is written. Do I record it at all? How much time should I give to it? How much should I spend on it? Who should be involved in the recording—shall I choose the most talented ones or the ones with the purest hearts? When should I release it? How should I tell people about it? Should I spend money on advertising? How much should I spend? Am I advertising to bless more people or gain more followers and attention for myself?

At this stage in my life, I don’t really make money on music—at least not in a way that breaks even with the costs of making it and sharing it. But if I did become more known and started making money, what do I do with the money? Should I keep the money to compensate for my long hours (or years) of effort? Should I give it away? What portion is right to keep or give? These are all HARD questions, and there are people with extreme and loud opinions about it all.

So I wrestle, and I walk with the tension. I don’t do it perfectly, and I often find I have swung like a pendulum too far to one side, only to swing too far to the opposite side. But I make it my goal to just keep following Jesus on the narrow road and avoid the ditches on either side.

I’m writing all this out just to be honest and share my heart. And I also am writing it for the sake of some of you creatives, artists, writers, poets, and songwriters who are also endeavoring to create and feel a call to share your creations with the world. While the tension can be terribly frustrating, here is something I truly believe. The tension is not our enemy. Rather, it is the gateway to another level of worship. HOW we choose to share our art is a form of worship. All of the internal wrestling for pure motives is worship. The double and triple-checking of reasons and goals for sharing art is worship. In fact, there may be more worship in handling this tension than there is in making the art. The tension demonstrates our care for the glory of God. The careful attention to our motives demonstrates that we value His perception of our art and actions more than the opinions of people. Even if our conclusions are sometimes not correct, I think it blesses the Lord to see that want to get it right. Every time we set out in war of the fear of man to obtain more fear for the Lord, we are setting out in the right direction. And that direction is simply to be “after His heart” (Acts 13:22).

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John Gabriel Arends